Kate Winslet Follows Alicia Silverstone’s Lead and Names Her Baby Boy Bear

“Kate Winslet and Ned Rocknroll’s Celeb Baby Name Doesn’t Dissapoint” is the title of the Name Dropper article that introduced me to Kate and Ned’s little boy, Bear. But unlike Julie Andrews, who posted the article, I can think of four reasons why Kate Winslet and Ned Rocknroll will receive negative attention for that choice.

1) Alicia Silverstone was the first celebrity to name her son, Bear Blu (Jarecki) after that grizzly mammal. Usually the first celebrity to break new baby-naming ground with a silly choice gets points for originality (if not for mental acuity).

2) Cricket (Silverstein) is one of the five worst celebrity baby names in 2013, according to early returns on a survey conducted by Celebrity Baby Scoop. So naming your child after a critter is a risky idea, at best.

3) According to Wikipedia, “a Bear is a hairy man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.” So, if the baby isn’t incredibly big and hairy, the poor child will fall short of most people’s expectations. (That would be like naming a boy of average intelligence Yale or naming a thin, homely girl Marilyn.)

4) And, in Wall Street parlance, bears are pessimistic;  they expect the market to go down.  (You can also be “bearish” on the weather forecast for a sunny day that appeared in your morning newspaper.) As you can see, Bear, has a pessimistic vibe.

I’ve always thought Kate Winslet was a highly intelligent actor. So, I’d like to blame the boy’s father, Ned Rocknroll, for coming up with the name Bear. (He changed his own name from Abel Smith to Ned Rocknroll, which tells you something about his naming “credentials.”) But, no matter who came up with the name Bear, Winslet is the boy’s last name. So it’s hard to imagine Kate wasn’t in the room when her son was named Bear.

I’ve pretty much given up awarding thumbs up or down for names. (It’s a practice Roger Ebert made famous in his movie reviews.) But I’ve got four good reasons to give the name Bear two thumbs down.

P.S. The only good thing I can think of about the name Bear is that he might luck out and wind up with Smokey as a nickname. I can’t predict if he’d enjoy being called Teddy; but I doubt he’d enjoy being called Pooh.

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