The GQ Guide to Baby Naming: Magary’s 9 Dos and Don’ts

In a recent post I gave you an entertaining sample of the GQ Guide to Baby Naming and a link to make it easy for you to read the whole article. I suspect a lot of readers enjoyed the sample but didn’t click on the link. So I’m going to try again to motivate you to read Magary’s entire article. This time, I’m giving you a stripped down version of Magary’s Dos and Don’ts without Magary’s entertainingly detailed explanations and examples.

  1. Do not invent a name. Most inventions fail. Many don’t even make it past the patent stage. What makes you think a name you created out of thin air is gonna stand the test of time?
  2. Think real hard about whether or not a “cool” name is all that cool…Names that sound kinda badass…become stale and tepid with the passage of time.
  3. If you give your kid a kooky name, there’d better be a [great] story behind it.
  4. Don’t abuse the letter y. It’s not a real vowel.
  5. Go easy on the “extreme” letters. I like x, k, and z as much as any competitive Scrabble player does. But these are children you’re naming, not line extensions of Mountain Dew.
  6. Do not use double letters if you don’t have to.
  7. Do not name your child after…things [like: celebrity baby names, “Twilight” characters, etc.]
  8. Consider whether that apostrophe is really necessary. It isn’t.
  9. Think about the kid and not yourself. Are you giving this kid a one-of-a-kind name because…you
    want friends and family to be dazzled by your creativity?

Now you know Magary’s Rules, but without the entertainingly detailed explanations and examples you’re missing most of the fun, so check out the GQ Guide to Baby Naming–as I asked you to do last time.

Me: Questions?

You: Why do you keep writing about The GQ Guide to Baby Naming?

Me: Thanks for asking. I’m trying to reach: celebrities, celebrity wannabes, and parents who believe their kids will run with the popular crowd in high school if they name their daughter Blue Moon Unyt and their son Xlaxx)–before it’s too late. The GQ Guide to Baby Naming might save a few children from the curse of going through life with an awful name. I’m thrilled to be joined on this important mission by Drew Magary, whom (I’m sorry to admit) I had never heard of before I ran across his article.

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