The Boys Got Funny Names. The Girls Got Ordinary Names. The Girls Were Jealous.

Here’s a nice change of pace from funny/outrageous celebrity baby names: a charming article about funny names in Israel.

When Michael Berkowitz moved his family to Israel, he hoped his children would never want to move back to the U.S. So he gave his children typical Hebrew names, but he chose humorous English versions of his boys’ names, knowing they were likely to be embarrassing if ever used.

He gave one son the Hebrew name Kalman and the English name Charles Danger — so if someone asked him, “What’s your name?” he could answer, “Danger is my middle name.”

He gave his second son the Hebrew name Jehuda and the English name Just — so if someone asked him, “What’s your name?” he could answer, “Just Berkowitz.”

He gave his third son the Hebrew Name Yerucham and the English name Berkowitz James — so if someone asked him, “What’s your name?” he could answer, “Berkowitz… James Berkowitz” (an echo of “Bond… James Bond”).

He named his fifth child, a daughter, the Hebrew name Yael and thought of giving her no English name — so if someone asked her, “What’s your name?” she could say, “Berkowitz,” and if they asked, “Just Berkowitz?” she could respond, “No, that’s my brother.” But in the end, he named her Elinor or Eleanor, depending on his mood.

Berkowitz’s strategy worked. None of his boys (nor any of his girls, either) moved back to the U.S — and apparently, the girls were jealous of their brothers’ humorous English names that turned the question, “What’s your name?” into an entertaining stand-up comedy routine.

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